Saturday, September 20, 2008

Daily Blogg: The Rant Unleashed


WARNING NERDRAGE INCOMING

Ok folks if you haven't played the game yet GO AWAY...

...no im serious, this is not where you want to be because beyond this point there are spoilers beyond belief.



OK on the unfortunate business of tearing this frankly amazing game apart. :(

Before I begin i will be assuming that you have completed the game and have completed at least one of the two endings, if you have not then please feel free to go to your XBOX and come back later.
For the rest of you i should explain that I frankly LOVE this game in almost every single way and am almost loath to take it apart but since im a Fanboy freak i feel it is my duty to piss all over my own fun ;)

The Farce Unleashed

Lucasarts have always been the forerunner to any starwars related game and are possibly the best suited given there closeness to the subject matter to create a fore related starwars universe game, so i gotta ask in all seriousness with all the lore whore's and fanboys with every tiny piece of SW trivia memorized could they not find anyone to fix the massive glaring continuity errors and in universe mistakes that border on Ewok level insanity?
Im not going to list all the little foibles but i think the top five should be enough to make my point.

TOP 5 TFU Fups

5. Anti ''FORCE'' fields: I cannot even begin to explain how this should not be possible in the SW universe, no living creature is immune to the force it is by definition ''in all living cells'' and therefore immutable, Nothing is immune to the FORCE! no not even droids, which nicely leads me onto...

4. Force Droids: the force is in all LIVING things...LIVING!! i mean god damn i know that droids are smart but since when could they use the force? (anyone who brings up Sparky the force droid will be shot on sight with the non canon cannon)

3. Loss of Sight = Loss of Force?: Early on in the game you blind a Jedi Master and somehow release him from his obligations to the living force... yea sorry folks i call so much bullshit on this the herd may have to do without the bull for a while so he can recover. It wouldn't be so bad if suddenly out of the blue the good general suddenly develops force sight and gains the ability to steal the Emperors lightsaber with a force pull near the end of the game!

2. The Apprentice: ok i so you start the game as one of the single biggest baddest force throwing bastards in the universe and suddenly out of nowhere about midway through the game you turn into a sniveling, whipped, wimp attempting to justify his place in the universe while whining to his pilot (girlfriend/love interest) about how hard it is to make a moral decision regarding the future of the universe when you have Darth Vader as a surrogate dad. I mean how hard it it know the 7ft tall guy with the bad chest cold jet black armor and dodgy complexion is the freaking bad guy? none the less when you finally do make a decision...


1. YOU KICK THE CRAP OUT OF DARTH VADER!!!: I was initially torn in which way i should see this act of rebellion, sadly in the end im forced to call dickery on this and point unbelieving as the biggest character in the SWU gets his ass handed to him by what appears to be a teenager in a hoodie who then to rub salt in the wound takes on the emperor 1v1. Baddass yes but i mean come on



OK im done and although it may be a tad bias i can say with a song in my heart that despite all this THE GAME KICKS ASS and i would suggest a rental to non fans if your not willing to buy it. To SW fans i would suggest going without food and grabbing onto it with both hands while grinning like an ape while you enjoy about 20 hours of SW fun and games.

and now...


!CHEAT SPOT!

Add these codes in the code input section on the main menu for the following results:

MANDALORE - Allows user to play as Kota
HOLOCRON - Allows user to play as Hooded Apprentice Costume
WOOKIEE - Allows user to play as Apprentices Father
Holocron - Jedi Adventure robes
Lightsaber - More powerful lightsaber (Disables some achievements)
Marajade - A new combo move (Disables some achievements)
Katarn - All force powers increased to maximum :D (Disables some achievements)
Dantooine - Ceremonial Jedi robes
Korriban - Sith Stalker armor
Prototype - Allows user to play as PROXY

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