Today i should warn you i shall be somewhat incoherently drunk. Attempting to make any form of sense of this traditional binge drinking and gluttony is pointless and any real meaning will be lost in a river of green vomit.
well thats how it will be everywhere EXCEPT IRELAND!
Yes over here we drink to remember where we come from, we drink to forget what we have done to our country and reputation with the last 100 years of infighting and we drink simply because after all that soul searching we want to get totally pissed and try to get on with our families & friends after they get all emotional on us. The Irish have an unfortunate reputation for drunkenness and aggressive behavior and fighting, If you didn't already know this is almost all hyperbole and hearsay. Yes were a little bit ashamed of our worldwide reputation as drunken fighti'n midgets but lets be honest here despite our ability to drink ridiculous amounts of pretty much anything and come out the other side not only able to walk in a straight line but able to hold your own in a bar fight comfortably is something of an advantage when you consider that Ireland's biggest single export is (and always will be) our people.
Remember that today that one in every three people in the USA is a minimum of 5% Irish (yes we will screw a hole in the wall, thats what the booze is for) so feel free to go out in the full knowledge that one in every three people you come across fighting and drinking today is fully justified to do so as part of there heritage, the other two are just pale imitation and should be mocked and will be by the end of the day utterly regretting that last pint while there Irish blooded brothers & sisters continue to enhance there stupor.
So happy Irish drinking day everybody, but do me a favor before you start the insanity please at lest try to remember that this is a celebration of the life of a saint and that generations of us poor bastards despite our reputation have exported more poets, art and literature per person than any other country in the world.
