Daily blogg: Halo Reach Beta 03/05/10

Its here its here its here!!!
The sixth (and possibly final) game in the Halo series is going to public Beta testing at one minute past midnight tonight (00.01 GMT) here in the UK.

Joining Nobel team as a replacement after combat inflicted losses to the Covenant forces you take part in the truly epic and much toted fall of the earth colony world "Reach".
Halo reach takes part essentially at the same moment as the opening scenes of the first Halo game (Halo: Combat evolved) in which the ship carrying the Master Chief breaks the blockade of incoming Covenant ships and makes a blind jump that leads him to the first Halo installation.

What Halo reach does is show us how the planet came to be under covenant attack and how Nobel team managed to get the cryogenically sealed Master chief out of enemy hands and up into orbit to the USNC ship Pillar of autumn so he can meet his date with destiny and save the whole damn galaxy.

The public Beta testing is for the prototype weapon and armor capability of the third generation Spartan super soldiers in player Vs Player combat as well as the testing for the newly modified elites and there 1st generation weapons and ships.

Links:
http://halo.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page
http://halo.wikia.com/wiki/Halo_reach


now if you will excuse me....

*Deep Breath*

...BETA BETA BETA BEAT !!!111!!!!ONE!!

Daily Blogg: Doctor who's new series...

The new Doctor who series....I really have no other way to describe this so bare with me.

Tennant's Doctor was a very feminine character, his reactions to certain things implied real compassion and age in an established abet slightly campy world/universe. Through the series the world became more and more hardened and sharpened, life threatening situations genuinely seemed threatening and old enemy's came back with genuine purpose and a fairly dirty gritty world that still left some room for flamboyance and silliness. The 10th Doctor managed to make the show seem fantastic but still fairly real and as such when he said "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry" Tennant had the screen presence and acting ability to convey just how very old the Doctor really was and that he honestly was sorry about what clearly HAD to happen.

Smith on the other hand seems to be a cos-playing fanboy who has clearly read the scripts and attempted to study the previous incarnations and failed miserably to pick up on the fact that he is ALWAYS supposed to be smartest man in the room. why has he failed?
he too young...no not in terms of age but simply the fact that he plays the character as a 20 something whereas the 9th and 10th clearly relished the fact that they were supposed to be an almost eternal entity with nearly unlimited experience and could step the very very fine line between "you cant win, nobody can because i know i simply wont let myself to loose" and a jovial but stern "I AM the Doctor" self importance that defines the character.

Tennant was hard metal and sharp angles, running for your life and realistic settings with fantastical enemy's that in the stark light of day still seemed imposing. He brough life and genuine affection to the character with an air of wisdom and self assurance one would expect from someone as old as the Doctor.

Smith on the other hand feels like a cheap knockoff with all the charm and wit of a used teabag that has been squeezed out and left in the sun for a week. His big chinned ands somewhat childish style comes over as smug rather than self assured and manages to leave us with only one question...

...where the hell is the Doctor and how the hell did you manage to steal his TARDIS?


sorry but spitfires in space and Go Go Dalek Rangers & Dalek bomb defused by the power of love reeks of the who mobile and celery in lapels bullshit that killed the franchise for so very very long before Eccleston and Tennant managed to turn him from a campy kids show into a real adult sci-fi drama.

Please BBC do us all a favour and kill the big chinned asshole off hop back to Petes world pick up the copied Tennant Doctor pass the regeneration's to him in another form of metacrisis and call it a freaking day.

Daily Blogg: unrepentant and slightly repellent

So i started this week (easter holidays and all) on a bit of a downturn...

...i was a little down and as you all know misery LOVES company and i like rubbing religious types up the wrong way and thus my zombie Jesus theory of evangelism.

not sorry in the slightest for doing so as i think its funny as hell to make you all squirm.

Anyway back to this weeks project and the rebirth of "The Humming Cheese Mk2.5" also known as "what i can make out of my computer spare parts bin when im bored out of my skull".

The picture is NOT the new cheese by the way just a shot of my work station.....cool though isnt it?

but it means i now have yet another back up mid range desktop if my comp decides to take a dump and combined with my external HD it means no matter what happens i can continue working....

...wait i may want to rethink this...

...knew i should built a robot.

Daily Blogg: Do you have a Zombie plan ready?

So its easter week, i have a question...

Q: What is christianity?

A: It is the belief that a two-
thousand-year-old jewish zombie
can make you live forever if
you symbolically eat his flesh
and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master,
so he can remove an evil force
from your soul that is present
in humanity because a rib-woman
was convinced by a talking snake
to eat an apple off a magical
tree in a wonderland.

[ If you judge me by this joke
and call me anti-Christianity or
what ever, you should really go
out more, look at the mirror at
times and adjust your world view.
Learn to laugh at yourself and
have some fun. ]

now if you will excuse me i must go check my emergency escape boat, shotgun, shells and chainsaw...

...Zombie Jesus is going DOWN!

Daily Blogg: enough already!

I hate April fools...no not true i LOATH it.

Why? i hear you ask, well its this simple, this is the one day a year where my entire industry take upon themselves to act like total freaking morons.
I understand the tradition & i get the general "HAHA!" attitude but i mean come on folks im a serious journalist and being bombarded with idiotic "lol fooled you" style reviews and previews that continue to "fool" the local cattle long into the year with faked screenshots that keep getting sent to me bu sadly failing industry outsiders asking "er wasn't this supposed to be out by now?" style questions and requests that "i look into it pronto" and being unwilling to accept that they fell for a belated April Fools gag gone runaway is very frustrating and has in the past lost many a freelancer work because some idiot has claimed it as real and when refuted said freelancer is fired rather than make the in house writer look like an idiot.

so yea keep your jokes, stuff the hilarity, remove your water spitting flowers from lapels and put away your oh so hilarious fan fiction inspired review. Its not funny, some industry heads ARE really this stupid and do make our lives hell over these things because they have already asked for advertising space or worse already wrote and published something regarding your humourless fake, remember its poor working saps like myself that have to explain to there humourless ass that its all in good fun and not to be taken seriously.

rant over, take from this what you will...

Daily Blogg: Breathing a sigh of relief

So after a week of drunken shenanigans and stumbling sobriety and unfortunate flashbacks associated with the smell of second hand beer and body oder in close proximity.

None the less the bitter dawn and several days of kebab related intestinal distress has forced me to reevaluate my alcohol consumption...

...oh who the hell am i kidding im going for a beer this weekend to congratulate my friends Helen and Billy's engagement and with a little luck manage to stay sober enough to wish them well without slurring or making a fool out of them or myself.

Perhaps a little practice is in order, TAXI!! the coco cabana!

Daily Blogg: Gone drinkin'

Gone Drinking, I'll be back when the hangover clears.

normal service will resume when sobriety does.